The Drama Triangle is a psychological model generally used to describe dysfunctional relationships when people move through the roles of ‘victim’, ‘rescuer’ and ‘persecutor’ creating an emotional storm or drama. More generally, turn on a television, read a newsfeed or listen to a colleague, friend or family member who ...
Do you feel as if you want to change your life but the ‘how to’ somehow alludes you? In this post I will write about our ‘blind spots’ – we may want to change our life, but while that seems possible for others, it somehow doesn’t work out for ...
What is Transactional Analysis? Transactional Analysis (TA) was developed in the 1950’s and 60’s by Eric Berne, a Freudian trained psychiatrist. Berne wanted a theory which could be understood and available to everyone. He was a brilliant observer of human interaction with an eye for patterns of behaviour and ...
This video explains some principles about identity coaching which I use to introduce my course next month. One of the key ideas I will be covering in this course will be a process called Rescripting. I often felt that I wanted to be both a happy and successful person, ...
In this video, I cover principles of how our thoughts can be expressed as an inner-voice and some reasons why that inner-voice may not always be helpful to us. I also discuss the intriguing quote, “The child is father of the man” by William Wordsworth (another way of putting ...
How can coaching help with Imposter Syndrome and other issues around our identity? So often people don’t feel fully comfortable in their own skin – I know that was the case for me when I qualified in NLP over 20 years ago. That was until something happened that changed ...
Children need attention (and love) and when they don’t receive this, they develop strategies to gain negative attention by making their parents angry or worried. This approach to gaining attention becomes more sophisticated as people grow older and they start to use more elaborate strategies. These strategies are psychological ...
At the 2020 NLP Conference I presented a session with the title ” Can models and theories co-exist” where, to cut a long story short, I made the argument that yes – indeed they can. In my Advanced NLP Coaching course I combine NLP Timelines with processes from Transactional ...
Changing the way we define ourselves (our identity) can have some huge benefits but can cause some significant issues. A good way to start is to consider an important question – How do we define our identity? This could include: Our perceived roles in life: work, family, aspirational, race, ...
London went into lockdown on March 23rd. Within a couple of days, I was reading articles on how to optimise my lockdown experience. How to use this time to tackle my self-improvement bucket list. Get fitter. Eat better. Meditate more. Start a juice cleanse. Do a 30 Day Yoga ...
In this week’s blog, a brief segue into the psychology of relationship games. I will be using some principles from Transactional Analysis (TA) to help frame and understand the source of people’s problems: those of psychological games and scripts. What are Relationship Games? A relationship game is basically a ...
Having just finished teaching an NLPU Master Practitioner in Malaysia, I continue to be astonished at the amazing transformational power of Robert Dilts’ Re-imprinting Process for trauma, and how closely it can relate to the Drama Triangle. I use the combination of NLP and TA when I find that ...
Transactional Analysis drivers One useful aspect of this material is the Transactional Analysis concept of ‘drivers’. These are very powerful, deeply ingrained subconscious motivations that are picked up in early childhood. TA theorists believe there are five of these: ‘Hurry Up’ ‘Please People’ ‘Be Strong’ ‘Be Different’ ‘Be Perfect’ ...
