How to Change Your Life: 5 Things That Keep People Stuck

Do you feel as if you want to change your life but the ‘how to’ somehow alludes you?

In this post I will write about our ‘blind spots’ – we may want to change our life, but while that seems possible for others, it somehow doesn’t work out for us.

It could be work, financial stability, relationships or struggles with health or body shape. We all want a sense of inner-peace and accomplishment, yet we can get overwhelmed with feelings of anxiety or a deep sense that we are not enough.

With our 3 day life change course coming up, in this post I will cover 5 things that keep people stuck, and suggest ways to get unstuck:

1. A sense that you are not that kind of person.

Who we are – our identity – can be defined in many ways: the roles we play in our lives; identifying as belonging to a specific group of people; a sense of being uniquely ourselves and a profound sense of wanting to survive. However, there is also another way of looking at identity: A script, an illusory role we are predestined to play throughout our lives. It could be a carer of others; a loner; a loser; a party animal; a winner that is miserable; a person who is anxious, fearful, sad, full of shame etc. These are not ‘true’ but are often so deeply ingrained that a more powerful intervention is needed. In the course we cover a deep change process that provides a way of discovering your existing script, extracting all of its benefits and then shifting gently to the person you want to become.

2. A lack of motivation.

How do we motivate ourselves to do something different? Often that involves doing something that we don’t really like doing – one answer is to obtain a clear sense of purpose. The people in life who achieve things beyond the odds, have a desire not just to help themselves, but also to add something to others. Creating a sense of purpose that both helps us get what we want and makes a difference in the world is hugely powerful. So often, the greatest gift we can give to those we care the most about is to become happy or successful ourselves. We cover a powerful process that enables you to crystalise what is your own unique sense of vision and purpose. Everyone has this within them, we just need a way of detecting what it is.

3. Needing new skills.

Although this may seem obvious, the difference that can really make us unstuck is learning new skills. Our course covers new types of skills, often those that are neglected in professional training: the skills to guide our well-being and manage our mental health.

4. That the change you want is not possible for you.

How do these unhelpful ideas come about? They can be accidentally borrowed in our childhood or gained along the bumpy path of life. They then turn into ‘rules’, often blocking our progress. Because these rules are unconscious, we need new skills to clearly spot this type of thinking, so we can challenge it and put in more useful, empowering thoughts. Without the skills to spot these, they remain hidden rules that control your life. When you do have the skills, you notice when you start criticising yourself and have the tools to stop these thoughts from blocking your progress.

5. Fear of making mistakes.

Even with a clear sense of purpose, renewed identity and the skills to overcome limiting beliefs, we still have to change our behaviour. That means acknowledging that doing new things requires trial and error: anything worth doing, is worth doing badly at first. That requires a change of habit – and for many a change of a perfectionist mindset – an acceptance that doing something new will still feel uncomfortable at first. However, this fear also requires a shift in attitude, that sometimes you just need to take a leap of faith and do something different and stick to it for a while. Often ‘action’ is the greatest teacher, but that action is supported by making the changes I have written about above first. I have seen this training payoff and deliver huge changes for literally thousands who have attended over the years and it is why I do this work, to make a positive and lasting difference to people’s lives.